Dienstag, 18. Mai 2010

THE REASON WHY...


Disclaimer:
All the characters belongs to Disney or DC-Comics.
And I doesn't gain any bugs with them!

Rating: M strictly

Plot: What?! You want a plot?!

Authors notice: I think Darkwing is based on “the shadow” an old comic from years ago...


Bah... hey peoples out there!
I promised, my next fic will be again in German...
So, I'm really ashamed, that I broke up my promise, but:
read it or let it be.
At least this is just a weird twist of a crack-fic between two masked heroes...
And be sure:
This is strictly not for kids!




THE REASON WHY...
or
how Batman came to St. Canard...


“I'm the terror that flaps in the night! I am the sour milk in your morning-coffee! I am the hair in the soup of evil! I am Darkwing Duck!”
Bruce Wayne, still disguised as Batman, jumped at the sound of the TV speakers and turned them out.
“Stupid show...” he muttered to him self, as he turned over, pulling the blanket over his ears, “... and WHY to heck this duck wears a mask but no pants?” Not that he really was interested in it.
He didn't hear the wacky giggles as a sort of an odd jack-in-the-box-box appeared in his Bat-cave. He also did not remark the strange blue light as the box flung open and he even not remarked how he was lifted up by a nothing but air.
In fact Batman was so deep a sleep, that he remarked nothing but his strange dream of blue lights, the Joker, the Riddler and – Ducks?!

“Dipwing Duck!” the voice howled in rage, “Now is my turn!” with a the roaring sound Negaducks chainsaw comes to live and the black-masked Duck jumped forward.
Darkwing at his part just stepped out of the way and – was hit by a large body falling from the sky.
He worked his way out in no time and toke a moment to rub his back and scoffed: “No other ideas Neggy-poo as to throw with disguised fools?”
With a yowl of his chainsaw Negaduck approached his adversary and shouted back: “You're the masked fool here, Dork-dip!”
Darkwing just pulled out his gasgun and announced: “Suck gas evildoer!”
With a laugh and a swing of his chainsaw against DW, Negaduck jumped from the rooftop and shouted cheerfully: “See ya next crime, D!”

“Gee DW that's a weird sort of a story...”
What? Batman moaned enervated, didn't he turn off the TV?
He blinked once and then again. Why he laid an a old mattress on a cold stone-floor?
“Alfred!”
“Gee DW I think our guest is awaken...”
“Seems so Launchpad...”
Batman aka Bruce Wayne unwillingly forced his eyes open and tried to sit up. He failed at the last part and tried to fight back his headache. Finally he just stared up, right in to a pair of cold, blue eyes behind a purple mask.
Bruce held the look for a brief second, then he spotted the big orange bill under-half the mask. With a disbelieving frown he examined the rest of the person bend over him.
No doubt, he was still dreaming, or, more precisely: He still had a nightmare.
But why in all hells name, his head ached like this in a dream?

Darkwings eyes narrowed as he followed the gaze of the man before him down to his feet and growled: “Ya see anything interesting goon?”
And with a not so soft kick under Batmans chin he forced the other masked man to look up again.
“And now,” Darkwing growled, “I want to know why you run around the city, disguised as Batman and jumps in my back while I'm fighting Negaduck!” with a snort he added: “And you better god a good story to tell, boy!”

The dark knight gulped and blinked.
What was happened with him as he slept?
He then answered with a defensive shrug: “I don't know... had a weird dream about the Joker, Enigma and some weird ducks...”
You have to talk about weird, weirdo...” growled Darkwing unison with Launchpad.

“Wow! DW,” the so named drake swooshed around, “this Bat-stuff seems quit real!”
With an impressing flap of his cape DW paced over to his sidekick, then he bent also over the Bat-belt on the desk: “This stuff is really real?”
Batman looked over to see how Darkwing with a look full of doubt examined his Bat-stuff and then the duck figured out: “If this stuff is real working...” he pointed over his shoulder at the man on the dusty mattress, “he is perhaps also real; and his dream, wasn't a dream...” with this words DW turned to face the caped human, glared at him, “and someone has throw him through a dimensional getaway!”
“Gee DW, ho can do a such thing?!”
The masked mallard shrugged his shoulders: “Neggy, Megavolt, perhaps also Quackerjack...” he stared over to Batman still on the floor, “in his world the Joker, also Enigma and a lot others villains... we have to find out how and send him back where he comes from,” he toke a deep breath, “St. Canard is my town.”

II.
Bruce Wayne sighted, turned over and blinked.
First thing in the morning to do was to wake up.
Second thing to clue the latex dog-nose to his face. He hated it.
He yawned and makes his way down to the kitchen. Not the kitchen in his manor, not even the little kitchenette in his bat-cave; no, this was the kitchen of Darkwing Duck, high about the Audobon-Bay.
He was stuck.
Since one endless week.
He simple hated it.
Hated it all.

Breakfast was fast – and Bruce almost all days forget the milk. Not funny.
With a shrug he turned to the bookshelves, picked a comic out and settled down in the bed.
Batman...” he muttered, “why to heck I'm a comic?!”
He almost jumped as Darkwing later rushed in to the room, already dressed up for his night-work, fumbling with his gas-gun and muttering something to himself.
Bruce every time was impressed when he saw the big Mallard.
There was no big difference in his look to the cartoon DW, but Bruce now could see how he walked and acted when dos his workout.
There was not much of the clumsy cartoon-crime-fighter he knows. No, quite the reverse!
DW moved with the swift strides of a predator and had even faster reflexes.
He was indeed a dangerous mach to every evildoer in St. Canard.

Darkwing dropped the gas-gun on the shelve of his huge computer, removed his cape and fedora and then snapped at Bruce: “Ya like to do some training, Batsy?!”
Bruce just looked stunned, then he lifted an eyebrow and asked: “Why me?”
“Launchpad is at S.H.U.S.H. looking out for a way to send ya back where ya came from...”
Batman nodded: “It will be a pleasure...” lifted up and marched over to DWs training rink.
DW chuckled evilly and asked: “Well, what will be a pleasure: To be beaten by a Duck, or to sanded back home?”
Bruce returned the smile gorgeous: “Both of them?”
Darkwing laughed, toke his position in the rink and announced: “Three rounds...”

There where not three rounds because DW was called out by a burglar alarm, but Batsy had received already a lot of bruises.
He looked after the masked mallard and – decided to follow him.
Perhaps Darkwing needed a helping hand wile LP was at S.H.U.S.H.?


III.
Darkwing pulled the Ratcatcher at his limit to reach the first bank of St. Canard at time.
Once he arrived there he shot his grappling hook and climbed up to the roof.
Blue smoke an his dark voice does the rest:
“I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the very pissed off crime fighter! I am...” in the corner of his eye Darkwing remarked a shadow appear on the rooftop, “... Batman?”
As he turned to the new arrived he comes just in time to see how the huge muscular human clinched his fists around Negaducks throat and – Negaduck howled in agony.
Something in Darkwing snapped over, with a low, dangerous growl he was between HIS archenemy and Batman. In the same moment Negaduck manged to pull out his chainsaw, this time not to attack; no this was only defense, the chainsaw even not was started as he hit the thing, closed eye, against Batman.
Unluckily DW was now between the to adversaries.
Darkwings growl faded in to a hiss, then he snorted and shouted: “NEGS STOP IT! It's me, DARK!”
With the next words he parked his feet in Batmans abdomen: “Drop him, he is MY adversary!”

Batman just let go off Negaduck, broke to his knees and wondered why Darkwing was so furious – at least he only has tried to save the Mallards life.
Negaduck meanwhile came back to his senses, saws DW glares at him and Batman on the floor. After a few deep panting breaths he managed to cough out: “Why you...”
With gritted teeth, hand pressed to his shoulder, DW cut him off: “Just beat it and bugger off for one time, Neggy!”
Negaduck just shrugged ant turned to run: “By Dark! See you next crime!”

Soon as Negaduck was parted Darkwing turned to face Batman.
Even the human remarked the paleness on the crime-fighters face; and he saw also how quick DWs white fingers went red, soaked with blood.
“Darkwing,” he squeaked surprised, “you're wounded!”
“That's happens when you get hit with a chainsaw...” DW grunted angrily.
“But... you're bleeding?!”
“Just one question, Batsy:” DW hissed, with his dark voice, “Do you think life's a cartoon-show?!”


IV.
Batman had patched up Darkwings shoulder with a scrap of his bat-cape and all the while he did so, DW was cursing over him.
Batman sighted and tried to overhear the harsh words and to finish the bandaging before he gave his excuses: “Sorry for interrupt and meddling in, DW!” he sighted again, “It was my fault you get wounded...”
“Clear as day, Batsy...” Darkwing huffed, “... never try...”
This time was Batman who cut him off: “I'm really sorry... Its just... just so bothering to sit around so.. so useless.”
The masked mallard nodded and with shaking voice he plead: “Can we discuss that later, Batsy? Just bring me home...”
This was the first time in the entire time he was at St. Canard, that Bruce had drove the Ratcatcher.
It was also the first time he has used the blue chairs way to the civil home of Darkwing Duck alias Drake Mallard.
The hero of St. Canard wasn't in the best shape as they arrived and now he lied on the couch in the living room of Avian Way 537 where Bruce has placed him and went paler and paler, even after he had clued the wound on the ducks shoulder with special-wound-clue of SHUSH.
Bruce already was afraid he might go in to a shock when the phone ringed.
Darkwing, now dressed up in civil clothes, practically jumped up from where he lied and grasped the receiver.
Bruce couldn't hear much from where he stands, but he believed to recognize the sound of the voice. Dark and smooth, just like DWs if he was angry.
Drake sat down on the edge of the living room table so far as he could go from Bruce and answered to the caller: “I'm fine... no need to calling me here... Oh yeah, think this will done an other nice scar...” he laughed sarcastic before he went on, “... By the way: My guest... Do you have any ideas to get ri...” Darkwing listened for a second to the caller then he chuckled: “Let your play-tool out of the deal...” he winked at Bruce, “... he's not that bad... the peoples over there needs him..... Bey!” and DW hanged up the phone.
He then looked at his guest and smiled, while he absentminded mumbled: “With such enemies, you don't need friends...” aloud he stated: “Found another one to help you get home, Batsy.”
Bruce just nodded.
Where to heck was the absolutely good-doer Darkwing from this stupid cartoon-show disappeared?
But like DW said before:
Life wasn't a cartoon-show.

V.
“Three weeks...” Bruce Wayne sighted and put the lid back on the pot.
That was awkward: He, the Batman, stands in a kitchen an cooked dinner for an entire family.
Darkwings family.
Bruce sighted again. They searched really hard, everyone of them: DW, SHUSH, even Negaduck, to find a way bring him home. But they didn't finde any trace of a dimensional gateway to his dimension.
And so he was already stuck for three weeks more. What means four endlessly weeks or, one entire month.
He poured some noodles in to the pot, all the time with hanging shoulders.
He was not aware the pair of blue eyes they'd watched him with sorrow, so he jumped a little as two strong feathered arms circled around his waist: “Drake, what the heck...”
“You just looked like you needed a hug, Batsy...” the mallards dark voice stated and to his own surprise Bruce for a moment leaned back at DWs chest and breathed out as he moved away: “Thanks Drake...”
“Always welcome Batsy. Always welcome...” and Drake moved over to get the table done.
Dinner was over, Gosalyn in her bed and Darkwing already dressed up for his nightly work as he turned towards Bruce Wayne who stood by the bookshelves and announced: “Get your stuff Batsy,” he smiled, “I could need a little support tonight!”
Bruce just stood where he was an gaped at the big mallard.
Darkwing shoot a glance over his shoulder at the human and asked: “Do ya come or not, Batsy?”
Batman hurried up to get his stuff before he followed after DW to the Thunderquack and then he remarked it: “Where is Launchpad?”
DW shrugged and smiled: “Out? That's why I need a pilot...”
“YOU would that I pilot the Thunderquack?!” Batman was surprised and stunned at the same time, but in a very good way.